Recasting Harry Potter

Raymond Chen's picks for a humorous (perhaps nightmarish) recasting of Harray Potter. Mr. T as Hagrid is brilliant!

Coincidence in the library?

While browsing at the library this evening, I noticed the books on codes and cryptography were right next to the books on Word (like "Word 2000 for Dummies").
Coincidence?

Daylight Savings too commercial

Daylight savings time has lost its way. It's become a big, commercialized, impersonal event. We get so busy with all the hoopla and fanfare, we rush around like mad and never stop to consider the true meaning of the event anymore. It used to be that stores put up their displays at the proper season, but now - now it's barely past Labor Day and every store is decked out in daylight savings time dioramas.

That's just one complaint, and a surface complaint at that. No, the real issue goes deeper. I feel it my heart. I have become distracted. Some years, I think I just want to throw off all the endless festivities that purport to celebrate, but somehow, seem to drain the season of all meaning. One year I'll actually do it - no parties, no festivals, no made-for-TV movies, none of the accoutrements that we consider indispensible - just a single, solitary observance focused on the true meaning of daylight savings time.

In the final analysis, it's not daylight savings time that has lost its way. It is we who have lost our bearings. But it doesn't have to be that way. Will you join me in rediscovering the joyful simplicity that is the end of daylight savings time?

Unnatural fashion chimeras

Whilst listening to 80's music tonight, I suddenly had a vision of stonewashed baggy jeans, with rips in the knees. (Perhaps worn by a rapper with Big Hair (TM)?)

On a similar note, would it even be possible to tight roll baggy pants?

And the cultural collision images kept coming - two guys collide, their clothes get mixed up - "Hey, you got your hip hop in my disco." Second guy - "Hey, you got your disco in my hip hop".

Panoramic pictures of Homer lake

It was warm and sunny the Friday before last, and we took advantage of the occasion for a walk at Homer Lake. I took some panoramic pictures.

I didn't adjust the color and brightness on some of the pictures before combining them into one image, and the sky looks strange in places.

Click on the pictures to get larger versions (at Flickr).

This Old Shed

My mom came down to visit this past weekend, and she wanted to make improvements while she was here. This time the target was the shed/barn structure that had some holes in the roof, needed some boards replaced, and needed a coat of paint.

Before:

After:

Thanks, Mom!

(Lest there be any confusion, my mom did not do the roofing. I did that part)

Belgian Waffles

It's high time I started digging out some food related pictures from the trip to Europe this summer. The first pictures are of genuine Belgian waffles. This might also appear as an attempt to be true to the title of this blog, but it is not so - these waffles are an afternoon snack, not a breakfast delight.

The first ones we tried - one had caramel and one had strawberries.

And this beauty was slathered in chocolate

Panoramic vistas, take 1

The idea of stitching multiple photos together to make a panoramic view has always appealed to me. Attempts to join by hand in the Gimp where unsuccessful, though. Now, with hugin, I can do this on Linux quite easily.

Here's my first attempt, joining two pictures I took while skiing in Colorado this spring.

Wisconsin in the mist

A few weeks ago, I was visiting my parents on their farm in northern Wisconsin. One morning I got up early (yeah, my family was shocked too), and took pictures around the farm with fog in the background.

Compositions I'd like to hear

Continuing on theme of last post, here a few compositions I would like to hear. The first is "Sonata for Three Piccolos, One Tuba and Niagara Falls".

Generally, the instruments used to make music are under the control of the musician, and the better the musician, the more control they have over their instrument. Niagara Falls adds an uncontrolled, unrepeatable aspect to the piece. (Of course, recording it would restore some control and repeatability)

Classical music is quite the collaborative enterprise, with the composer, conductor and musicians all bringing their separate talents to collectively achieve a great social good - curbing teen loitering in 7-Elevens

Performing on the road would be challenging. The smaller part of Niagara Falls (American and Bridal Veil Falls) passes 150,000 gallons per second. This would take about 1800 tanker trucks to transport each minute of the composition. Art on a scale that would make Christo jealous.

The other piece I'd like to hear is "Overture for 13 Trained Squirrels on Violin and One Muskrat with Cymbals."

Overtures involving Jacob's Ladder?

The 1812 Overture is memorable in part because the score calls for real cannon fire.

There are other compositions that call for unusual instruments, but are there other compositions that call for slightly dangerous implements, like Jacob's ladders (high voltage electricity) or thundering herds of water buffalo?

Mobile Tomato Plants

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you put a tomato plant on a motorized wheeled platform (with the requisite amount of dirt) and let the plant drive?

The hard part would be connecting the plant so it could correctly signal the platform to move in useful ways. I suppose some sort of chemical concentration sensors, or maybe even electrical conductivity would work.

For some inexplicable reason, I am greatly amused by the image of a herd of tomato plants driving around the yard on wheeled platforms.

The patient person would embark on a selective breeding program to allow the plants to drive the platforms into the sun, out of the wind, to get a drink of water, etc.

Episode III: Backstroke of the West

Imagine, for a moment, Star Wars Episode III translated into Chinese and then back into English subtitles.


Okay, stop imagining and view the screenshots.
Including such memorable lines as "Our dichotomy opens the combat" and "I was just made by the Presbyterian Church"

Home Sweet Home

After some time in Belgium, in the touristy city of Brugge (it was a fun place to visit), and an afternoon in Luxemborg, we made it back home just fine.

It was good to see Europe, and it's good to be home.

I plan to look through the 1200+ pictures I took and arrange some of them on a webpage.

Swiss travel learnings

More things learned from traveling in Switzerland.

1. When going on a two day hike, and there is only one place to stay the first night, call ahead to make sure they are open and will let you stay.
2. When mailing luggage to yourself in another town, and they say it will take two days, don't forget to account for weekends.

We were going to go on a two day hike from Gsteig to Les Mosses. And we wanted to send one piece of luggage ahead so we wouldn't have to hike with it. The guidebooks all said we could do this at Swiss train stations. However, we tried this from a small station in Les Diablerets, and the attendent didn't speak English, and didn't understand what we wanted to do.

We then went to the tourist information office, where the woman there called the train station and talked for a while, and finally the train station attendent understood. However, the woman there also suggested the post office was cheaper. So we went to the Post, and it was indeed cheaper. We also sent it second class, since that would take two days, and we planned to spend three days in Les Mosses - plenty of time for it to arrive. It was Thursday

We take the bus from Les Diablerets to Gsteig and begin our hike. Lots of climbing. I suspect we climbed more altitude than exists in Illinois. Later in the day, we get to the hotel/restaurant we expect to stay at.

It is quite empty, and the waiter seems suprised to see us. He tells us we cannot stay because we did not call ahead. He goes inside (presumably to talk to a manager), comes back out, and tells us the same thing. He also tells us we could stay if we are a group of 10 people or more, and suggests that a local barn might have room.

We try the barn/house, but it is a summer barn with only a single room for people, and of course they have no room. So we decide to press on with the second day of the hike (which is supposed to be easier than the first day, and fortunately is easier).

We got additional water from a farm we passed (we had consumed all ours), and made it to Les Mosses about ten pm. We are able to find a place to stay, just before they close - it never felt so good to find a room.

We slept late the next morning and went to the Post when it was open in the afternoon. The bag had not come (given it was only one day later, so we didn't really expect it), but the lady there told us the mail didn't come on Saturday, even though the post office was open. D'oh! So the earliest we could get the bag was Monday morning, and we had reservations elsewhere Monday night, and had planned on leaving on Sunday.

To make a long story slightly shorter, we stayed an extra day, and the bag did come on Monday morning, and we made it to Gimmelwald just fine on Monday afternoon. The weather was also very nice on Sunday, and we had a nice hike.

Guide to Swiss hiking difficulty levels

For those from flatter locales, here's a quick reference on how Swiss hiking trails are graded.

• Easy - steeper than anything in Illinois
• Medium - climb the Sears tower using the stairs.
• Difficult - climb the Sears tower again, only using the outside.

The Swiss trail system is a lot of fun. The trails are usually well marked, and even offer an up-close view of the local bovine population.

There was one spot, though, where it appeared as though the trail dropped off the edge of a cliff (we were descending). We thought maybe the person marking the trail had a sense of humor, but no, the trail really did continue weaving down, we just couldn't see it from above.

Travel update

Since the last post, we've hiked through the Swiss Alps and eaten yummy Swiss chocolate and cheese. Now we are in Belgium, in the tourist town of Bruges (somewhat similar to Rothenburg in that it was a weathly medieval city that was preserved through a fall on hard times). Eating Belgian chocolate, beer, and fries.

Some random castle

Mine tunnels

Mine tunnels under the Rhenfels castle. These tunnels were dug under the battlefield and filled with gunpowder, and used successfully to blow up opposing forces. (Hopefully all the gunpowder is gone)

Roofs of Rothenburg

A view of Rothenburg from the room where we stayed. You can see the beams with a pulley sticking out from the top of the buildings. They were used to raise grain for storage in the top of each house.

Each resident was required to store a year´s supply of grain, in case of seige.

Palm trees in Germany?

We are now in Lindau, in the southern tip of Germany.

Night watchman

Sue with the night watchman in Rothenburg. He gave an entertaining and informative one hour tour of part of the city.

German travel learnings

Things I have learned in traveling in Germany.

1. German kezboards have the y and z keys reversed. This often seems to add a German 'accent' to the tzping.
2. Changing locations in the morning (moving stuff from one city to another), and jumping right back on the train again to spend the afternoon in a different hot and crowded city an hour away is very stressful, and not a good idea.
3. Bread rolls sold in the store in sealed plastic packages ought to be baked before eating.
4. Adding bubbly (carbonated) water to coffee substitute does not make it taste better.

Travel Update

We traveled from Bacharach (on the Rhine river) to Cochem (on the Mosel river), and also spent an afternoon in Trier looking at the Roman ruins. Also we visited Burg Eltz, a well preserved castle still owned by the Eltz family. The castle was never attacked, and only successfully sieged once.

After that, it was off to Göttingen to visit Fred, Heejung, and Hannah (and Dave S was also there). It was good to see them.

Unfortunately, I caught a cold (or some such illness) and had a 101 degree fever (that's Farenheit, not Celsius). I mostly recovered by the time we left Göttingen.

Now we are in the medieval walled city of Rothenburg.

Guten Tag

Sue and I have been in Germany for a few days now. There was a long line to check-in for the Air India flight, but otherwise the trip over went smoothly. The first day (the day we arrived), we went to Bacharach, on the Rhine river.

We are now in the land of Castles R Us. To stay awake, we went for a walk, and went up to the ruins of an old church (Werner Kappelle), and then up further to an old castle (Burg Stahleck), which is now a youth hostel. There were some good views from the top of the castle.

Chief Lounging Officer

The member of the household most deserving of the title "Chief Lounging Officer"

Do computers feel pain?

Imagine I fire up the old Apple IIe,and write a BASIC program

   10 PRINT "OUCH, IT HURTS"
   20 GOTO 10

and run it. Would I think the computer is in terrible pain?

On the other hand, it wouldn't be much different than if I made a podcast of me repeatly saying "Ouch, it hurts" in a monotone. Listeners most likely would perceive me as quoting the phrase, and not being some expression of my state of being. (Fortunately for you, this is only a thought experiment - I'm not going to make such a recording)

Now if I were to scream the phrase, adding emotional content, the listener would likely have a reaction, even if they knew that I was acting, and not really in pain.

It seems that the more human-like the reactions, the more we identify pain (or pleasure) in other creatures (or things).

(topic shift)

What if computers screamed when they segfaulted (ie the program crashed)? (Other than having lots of screaming computers at work.) Would this C program be an act of cruelty?

int main()
{
   int *p = NULL;
   int q = *p;
}

Run this program, and a bunch of unhappy laptops will show up at your door along with a mainframe they keep calling 'Bubba'.

Or what if computers put up a dialog like this when the disk drive was nearly full, "I'm stuffed, I can't store another byte. Please compress some files or delete some files to relieve my full feeling, and I'll work much better".

Of course, we might be rather indignant that the computer is expecting a compassionate response from us when it never seems very sympathetic. In fact, the computer seems downright pyschopathic in it's lack of empathy and regard for our feelings and the frustration it causes us. (In fact, I'm going to run that segfaulting program a few more times just to get back at it. Take that you stupid machine!)

Where do crazy yet inspired ideas go

While searching on Yahoo for "super mower", I ran across an interesting web site: www.halfbakery.com. It's place for people to put inventions and "good" ideas (for values of "good" ranging from clever to insightful to strange to funny). It's sort-of like the lazy web meets Tantalus. With ideas like the "Film Noir Home" and "Custard-Filled Speed Bumps" (Mmmm... Custard ...), how can you go wrong?

Sweet Cinnamon Slug

I found this Sweet Cinnamon Slug today.

This type of slug is tasty when prepared properly. Here it is cut up and ready to bake:

And here is the finished, delicious result:

Pecan Waffles with Caramelized Bananas

My wife made some delicious pecan waffes with caramelized bananas. Yum.

And the perspective-enhancing side view:

Actually, the waffle in the foreground is not a pecan waffle (the waffle in the background is, though). They were so good I ate the first round before remembering to take a picture.

Tokihiro Sato

I was at the Art Institute of Chicago recently and saw an exhibition of photographs by Tokihiro Sato. The method of photography was intriguing. He would photograph a scene with a large format camera using an extremely long exposure, and then use a mirror or a flashlight pointed at the camera to "draw" on the image. He himself would not appear in the image, but the points of light would.

A quick Google search turned up more images here and here, or just search on google images for Tokihiro Sato

In addition to the points, lines, and squiggles of light, the city photographs have ghosts of cars and streaks where traffic flows. The outdoor scenes have blurred leaves where the wind was blowing.

Veni Vidi Pizza

Pizza pictures!

Pizza dough on the stone, ready to be baked

Baked dough

Baked dough closeup

Topped and ready to bake

Done baking and ready to eat.

The Pizza Crust Recipe

The basic recipe came from some book on pizzas, but I don't remember which book anymore.

• 1 cup warm water
• 1 package yeast
• some salt
• seasonings (see the previous entry)
• 1/4 cup corn meal
• 1/4 cup oil
• flour (don't ask me how much - enough to make dough)

Mix everything but the flour first. Then add enough flour until it can be kneaded. Then knead it for a while.
Let it rise for half an hour. Then form it on a pizza stone, or in a cast iron skillet.
Stick in the oven (anywhere from 350-400 works fine) for 10 minutes or so, until the crust is somewhat done (doesn't need to be completely done since it will go back in the oven)
Top the baked crust with whatever your pizza-topping heart desires, and put it back in the oven until done.

Lately I've been buying varied grains and flours and adding them to the crust - whole wheat, buckwheat, milled flaxseed, soy flour. Soy flour smells rather strong when mixing it, but isn't very strong after baking. (To me the soy smells like a nice alfalfa bale)

Next entry: Pizza making in pictures.

Mark's Pizza Secrets Revealed

Secret #1 - Season the crust. I'm not sure why more people/pizza places don't do this. The crust is usually a neutral vehicle for topping delivery, but it doesn't have to be. I use oregano, basil, and red pepper as the basic seasonings in the crust. Other crust additive possibilities include garlic powder, chili powder, and chopped onions. I haven't been brave enough to add chocolate chips (yet!).

I was recently introduced to a new solution to the excess plain crust problem at Beau Jo's Pizza. They make a more bread-like crust and provide squeeze bottles of honey to put on the extra crust. Very tasty!

Secret #2 - Bake the crust before putting the toppings on For my recipe, this serves a couple of purposes. First, the crust gets done faster (and more completely) if it's not in contact with wet tomato sauce. Second, the crust rises better if not weighed down by the toppings.

Secret #3 - There is no secret #3. If there were a third secret, it would be the toppings, but I don't have anything special to improve upon normal pizzas. Although using good Wisconsin cheese helps.

Coming next entry: The recipe!

The Great All-Knowing Google is upon us

Almost. This nifty paper, Automatic Meaning Discovery Using Google, describes a method for extracting meaning from Google searches. The authors compute probability functions based on the number of hits for each term. They take two terms, measure the number of hits for each term separately, and then measure the number of hits with both terms together. These probablities are combined to form a distance measure between the two terms. This distance measure can be fed into various knowledge classification and learning algorithms.

I'm not the only one

I'm not the only who takes pictures of breakfast cereal with a microscope. The folks at Molecular Expressions and Florida State University have these pictures of Rice Krispies (taken with the same kind of microscope).